24 Moments That Prove Dan Humphrey Could Not Have Been Gossip Girl Unless He Was An Evil Supervillain

Gossip Girl was in no way a “love letter” to Serena.

Dan was the absolute worst, especially in the last season. But still, the reveal that he was Gossip Girl came out of left field. And his reasoning for being Gossip Girl made even less sense.

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A love letter?? A love letter????

Because I hate Dan and everything about the reveal, I’ve decided to analyze each moment where Dan either could not have been Gossip Girl, or the only explanation was that he was an evil narcissist (NOT that he loved Serena).


^ No one can tell me Dan and Joe from You aren’t the same person. If the show had gone that route, I would’ve believed it much more!!


Let’s start with the first time Dan’s identity made no sense: when Serena bought a pregnancy test and Dan posted it on Gossip Girl.

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For all Dan knew, Serena was pregnant. And he still violated her privacy (and his!!) by posting it on Gossip Girl. He opened up his own girlfriend to judgement AND he got in trouble with his dad.

The only explanation: Dan wanted to humiliate Serena, I guess? I really don’t know, man.


Later in the season, Georgina shows up and causes some major problems for Dan and Serena, especially because she befriends Dan as someone named “Sarah.” But…wouldn’t Gossip Girl know who Georgina was?

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Gossip Girl was around before Serena left for boarding school, right? So Dan would’ve known who Georgina was and what she looked like. And then when Georgina comes back, Gossip Girl posts that Serena is in the courtyard looking like she’s seen the ghost of parties past. Why would Dan write that unless he knew who the “ghost” was or had at least seen her? But then he totally falls for Georgina’s fake identity!

The only explanation: Dan knew Sarah was actually Georgina the whole time and went along with it for the drama??


Remember when Dan outed Jenny’s boyfriend as gay?

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Not only was Dan outing someone (which is…not good) but he was embarrassing his sister and posting something just because Blair (who he hated at the time) was trying to destroy her.

The only explanation: Dan was just a dick.


Then posted this really gross message about Jenny.

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Maybe Dan HAD to post every tip he received to protect his identity. (Although was it really worth it??) But…did he really need to be this crass about his own sister?

The only explanation: Dan was gross.


And was clearly upset that it was up on the internet!!

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He thought it was ruining Jenny’s privacy and really inappropriate, but…he was the one who posted it?? And he made Jenny feel bad for sending things to Gossip Girl, when he WAS Gossip Girl??

The only explanation: Dan was a massive hypocrite.


Then he exposed his own sister and Asher once and for all:

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He basically ruined Jenny’s social prospects, not to mention he wouldn’t give the Asher thing a rest. Asher was a dick, but he didn’t deserve to be outed by Gossip Girl.

The only explanation: Dan was trying to teach Jenny some kind of lesson here in a SUPER messed up way.


When Dan posted on Gossip Girl that he and Serena shared a sibling:

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This basically caused his breakup with Serena, because she found out he already knew and didn’t tell her. Plus it was bad for Rufus, who had asked Dan not to say anything until Lily could tell Serena herself. Just all around a bad call, and it also didn’t even seem to come from any tip but from Dan himself. Why??

The only explanation: I’m at a loss here. Dan loves mess, maybe??


When he wrote a detailed post about his alleged relationship with Ms. Carr that was not only untrue but put her job on the line.

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He didn’t need to post the tip — Blair gave no proof, and in the past Gossip Girl had required photos or something. Plus, all Blair wrote was “Lonely Boy and Ms. Carr? Mary Kay Letourneau alert!” but Jenny said the post was super long and detailed. So…Dan went out of his way to make up a bunch of lies about him and Ms. Carr and fuel further rumors.

The only explanation: Maybe Dan somehow knew this rumor would get Blair in trouble, which means he wanted to take down Blair and also didn’t care who he hurt along the way. Maybe he thought the rumors would somehow help his chances with Ms. Carr or make him seem cool?


When Dan posted a photo of him and Serena in bed together while he was with Vanessa.

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Since Jenny sent in the tip and apparently knew he was Gossip Girl at that point, couldn’t he have just…not posted it, especially if he was apparently so in love with Vanessa?

The only explanation: Dan was trying to break up with Vanessa without actually having to do it, and he also wanted to ruin Nate and Serena’s relationship so he could slide in and date Serena. Ew.


And when Dan realized that Jenny had sent in the photo and was really surprised and disappointed.

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Dan acted really mad when he saw Jenny’s cup and realized she sent the blast. But wouldn’t he have already known she sent it as he’d received the tip from her?

The only explanation: Maybe this was Dan receiving the tip, and not the blast. But it was intercut with the voiceover of the blast AFTER Chuck and Nate had seen it, so that seems unlikely.


And Gossip Girl said this about them?

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This just felt…unnecessary.

The only explanation: I have none here. The last few points suggest Dan was doing this to get in with Serena, but this throws a wrench in that theory.


When Dan saw a post on Gossip Girl about Georgina being in St. Barts and acted super surprised even though he was ALONE.

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There are a bunch of times where Dan reacts to Gossip Girl posts with surprise while ALONE, but I think this is the best example because it’s clear that he’s surprised at seeing the Gossip Girl post, and not at a tip.

The only explanation: Dan has a split personality. This one seriously makes no sense.


And when he saw a blast about Nate and Jenny kissing and acted like it was the first time he’d seen it.

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He was with Rufus, but as he didn’t tell Rufus about the post there was no reason to act surprised here. Also, why would he run off to confront them after seeing the post, and not directly after he received the tip?

The only explanation: He wanted to act shocked just in case Rufus later discovered the blast? IDK. This one was weird.


When Gossip Girl revealed that Jenny lost her virginity to Chuck and Dan lectured her afterwards.

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If Dan was so disappointed in Jenny for wanting to leak news of her tryst with Chuck, why did he post the blast? He later claims Jenny knew at that point about Gossip Girl, so it’s not like he needed to do it so as not to blow his cover. And wouldn’t he lecture her before posting the blast, not after, to give her a chance to change her mind?

The only explanation: Dan was so narcissistic that he thought he was blameless for actually posting the gossip, instead blaming those that sent in the tips.


When Gossip Girl posted private pages of Blair’s diary that basically pushed her back to Chuck.

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When Dan steals back his laptop from Serena, he has a ton of Blair’s diary pages that Serena scanned and he starts releasing them as revenge on Serena. But this also hurts Blair and is one of the reasons their relationship ends. ALSO, Dan had these for A WHOLE EPISODE and still acted completely normal with Blair then was all mad at her once they were released, which is super creepy and proves how duplicitous he is. He was literally asking Blair to come to Italy and pretending he loved her, then an episode later when these came out he was all angry and didn’t want her coming. But he’d known about them the whole time!!

The only explanation: Dan was REALLY mad at Serena for stealing Gossip Girl and didn’t care who he hurt as his revenge. Also, he didn’t care about his relationship with Blair (but then he spent half the next season pining over her, so I’m confused).


When Dan begged Noah Shapiro to help get his book killed because if his friends found out it was about them he’d be a pariah, but then he posted on Gossip Girl about it AND that it was true…

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If he was so nervous about people reading the book/knowing he was the author, why would he post about it on Gossip Girl??

The only explanation: When Dan talked to Noah and he said the novel would probably flop, Dan got worried and posted on Gossip Girl about it to give it publicity so it’d sell well. He decided that he didn’t care if his friends were upset. But…if that’s true, I really have no explanation for why he went back to Noah’s office to remind him not to say anything. Maybe it was a reverse psychology thing?


When Dan insulted all his friends at graduation:

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Honestly, we probably should’ve known it was Dan at this point since he got the only positive label. But I don’t get why Dan needed to come for all his friends like that?

The only explanation: I’ll take “Dan is a dick” for 400, Alex!


And then said he didn’t think Serena was irrelevant even though he’d just called her that!

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If he didn’t think she was irrelevant, why did he say it??

The only explanation: He said it just to upset Serena, so he could swoop in and make her feel better. Joe, is that you??


When Dan revealed a huge blast after graduation that mostly hurt him, his little sister, and his best friend.

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Again, Dan posted this without any regard as to what it would do to Rachel’s career. He also revealed creepy stuff about his little sister that I’m not even sure how he knew, then pretended to get upset about it like he hadn’t known this whole time.

The only explanation: He was worried Serena suspected him to be Gossip Girl and wanted to make it seem like it wasn’t him. Or he just really wanted to brag about sleeping with Ms. Carr, and he didn’t care if Vanessa or Jenny’s secrets got out.


When Dan posted about Chuck and Blair being together at a party…

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It seemed like a really sweet moment when Dan, despite his feelings for Blair, could see how conflicted she was between Chuck and Louis and helped her run off with Chuck. But then he posted on Gossip Girl that they were together?? Why would he do that if he cared at all about Blair and wanted her to be happy (which is apparently why he set up the meeting with Chuck in the first place).

The only explanation: Dan wanted to get the credit for being a “good guy,” but didn’t actually want Chuck and Blair to be together.


…Causing the car accident that CAUSED BLAIR’S MISCARRIAGE, which he showed NO remorse for.

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Okay, so Tripp had sabotaged the brake fluid in the car (which he thought Nate would be in) but they didn’t know that for a while. Plus, the paparazzi swarm Dan (as Gossip Girl) caused was also responsible for the crash. Don’t you think Dan would’ve showed at least a little remorse?

The only explanation: Dan either thought he was faultless or was happy that Blair and Chuck got in the crash. Or he somehow buried his guilt super deep down.


And then he took advantage of Blair’s trauma to slide into her life and become the only person she trusted in the wake of the accident that HE CAUSED!!

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Dan comforted Blair in the aftermath of losing her baby and let her think it was her fault her baby died because she cheated on Louis. When Gossip Girl was revealed, Dan didn’t even apologize.

The only explanation: He’s incredibly manipulative to the point of being sociopathic, which is NOT the reason the show gave for him being Gossip Girl.


Let’s talk about when Dan stole back Gossip Girl’s computer from Serena. Dan jumps in a cab with NO BAG and yet has a complete disguise when he gets to the event. When he gets home, no computer or disguise!

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Also, Lola and Nate said that Gossip Girl went to the party because they sent her the address. But Dan clearly goes to the party to follow Blair and Chuck.

The only explanation: Dan wasn’t going to go to the party because he didn’t trust Nate and Lola. But then he accidentally ended up there while following Blair. When he realized this, he went inside, stole a sweatshirt, and somehow found the laptop Serena brought. He didn’t have it when he got home, so he must’ve stashed the laptop at another location. Once again, Joe, is that you?


Last one, and it’s small but still pretty bad: Blair sent Gossip Girl a fake diary entry to cost Serena her summer job, and Gossip Girl actually posted it.

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Maybe he was mad at Serena for some reason, but he had no reason to post the fake diary page. He definitely knew it was fake if it was sent by Blair herself/wasn’t already on his computer. This was just catty.

The only explanation: Here’s one final “Dan is a dick” for you.

TL;DR: Maybe you could argue it makes sense that Dan was Gossip Girl. But ONLY if your argument is that Dan is a dick with no remorse who manipulates everyone around him and never takes responsibility for his actions. So…not sure how Serena got to the whole “love letter” thing.

Rede Globo

Basically, Dan is horrible and that’s all I have to say about THAT.


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